pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
