Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Randomize
