Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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