Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She told me I should be a condom model.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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