so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
