Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just pee around me
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Im part way to drunk.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Randomize