evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
