my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
