"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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