He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
