i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
