I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
How does it feel to date your dad?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
