I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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