you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize