Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
