he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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