ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
