WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
