I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
