please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
