Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
