and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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