Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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