So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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