Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
