Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Who did Billy Mays play for?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
