a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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