i need an iv and a liver transplant
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
