I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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