Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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