what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I love you.
Bad choice
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize