My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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