Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
