moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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