Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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