Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
