Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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