I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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