If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
