Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
