i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
