Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
