She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize