so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
