in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
