he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
