we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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