he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
