He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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