you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
