billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
