Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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