my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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