Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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