Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
