garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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