he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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