how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
