is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
They have beer where we have blood.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
