Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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