I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
