umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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