Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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