the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
my shit smells like andre
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
