let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
